Those of you who know me, know that I don't put too much of myself out here for the world to decipher. I show you the beauty that I find on a daily basis and pretty much keep it at that.
Well April is a month that has recently become very important to me. If you don't know it is Autism Awareness Month. So I want to take a few moments of your time and explain a little to you.
Before my child was diagnosed with Autism, I had no clue as to what it was or what it meant. Educating myself about this just did not seem very important to me because it was not relevant in my life.
Oh how I was so wrong. At first I thought my son was just a dare devil with no fear, that he would deliberately ignore me when I would speak to him, that he was some special sort of baby Houdini playing tricks on me constantly. That he was slow to talk, or that it was just more convenient for him to drag me into a room and point to what he wanted. That he hated sleep and that he felt clothes were irrelevant to his life.
After thinking that he was deaf we took him to the doctor, they ran tests, recommended specialists, who ran more tests, Finally one of the neurologists diagnosed him with Autism, he is on the spectrum. He then recommended more tests. I had to hold my baby down as he screamed and cried just so they could test his brain waves, my heart broke, I had to watch the doctors put my boy to sleep, as his eyes get heavy and he drifted away to darkness to go through a brain scan. The whole time I was scared as hell for my child.
I cry now as I type this because I still have the image of my then 2 year old son in a hospital bed falling into the arms of a stranger as he passes out.
I wait and wait and wait. I have NO CLUE at this point what Autism is and how my son's life is going to change. How my families life is going to change. Finally my son wakes from anesthesia and I can take him home, he is drowsy and all I could do was hold him tight as I cried.
Our day still has to proceed as usual, but I am a wreck, on the phone, on the internet, loosing my mind. Why is there something wrong with my child? He did not do anything to deserve a different life than any one else. He is my baby, this isn't fair... etc.
I will tell you now, be careful doing research on the internet. It will have you acting a fool and thinking that the world is going to end.
The world did not end, we have been in speech therapy for over a year and I can understand clearly about 15 words. They are yet to be consistent, and he has yet to call me mamma, but my boy is so smart, so clever and so loving.
He plays with his sister, and the people who are in his life on a regular basis, but he could care less about other social interactions or situations.
He has melt downs, and days that are hard. He likes certain foods and won't touch others. He loves the way things feel mushed in-between his fingers and toes, he enjoys being naked, playing in dirt, or with water. He is a child, he is a boy. He just needs a little extra patience from the people who surround him.
I'm not going to go much further with this, but if you are facing the news for the first time about your child or your loved one being on the spectrum, please keep in mind that this is not the end of the world, there is nothing WRONG with your child, Autism is something that is different with every individual.
You may just have to adjust your life and your plan to go with the flow and accommodate the needs of your child. I highly recommend seeing speech and occupational therapists early in your diagnosis because not only will they help your child, but they will be the ones who provide the best information for you.
I hoped this has been helpful to at least one person.
Be blessed today!